Outhouse Rag

Funny as Fark Headlines

• Eye-opening article on why people procrastinate. Bookmark it so you can read it later
• For the fourth time since the new year, Houston police draw guns on driver of car they think is stolen. Luckily, they decided to question the preacher instead of shooting him, unlike the last three guys
• School bus driver angry a 5-year-old was mistakenly put on his bus, so he does the right thing and kicks him off in the middle of New York City's largest public housing project
• "Girls Gone Wild" creator fined $500k for having underage girls in his video. Says "I am upset with my loss," while boarding private space shuttle to his private island where scores of topless teens await his arrival
• Seventy-year-old man chases down, makes tackle on 19-year-old who robbed him; recovers money. Reportedly will be signed by the Detroit Lions next week
• Gas station to offer "terror-free oil." No word on when greedy CEO-free oil will emerge

Funny Fake Fark Headlines

• Teenage drinking champion attempts to salvage relationship with girlfriend by ramming the wrong car sixteen times to get a goodnight kiss. Which he will recieve in jail against his will
• Drunk driver decides to cut out the middleman and drives his car into the front door of local jail
• Man swimming in croc-infested waters is bitten, then spit out by a 10-foot crocodile who apparently doesn't have a taste for stupid people
• Today's school shooting brought to you by Cincinnati. This was obviously a public school, because the shooter missed everything and everyone
• Cheney is hunting again today. All lawyers advised to lay low

Funny Fark Headline

A month after Paris Hilton says she will abstain from sex for a year, this headline comes out: "Percentage of people with herpes drops". Coincidence?